holy crap i’m on the lam now! The Evolve Riders Group on facebook just removed a post i made about my evolve mods. Then they chastised me! Oh the humanity! Warranties! Safeties! They used all of the words against me. I was shocked and dismayed. SHOCKED.
I gotta tell you, I’m feeling the burn. Headed off to the burn ward for some intense burn therapy. Don’t know how i’m going to break this to my wife, she’ll probably leave me now for a better man still able to post to the group. My son won’t be able to look me in the eyes anymore. My penis probably won’t let me touch it anymore.
I’m sure at this point people are gathering and talking about me behind my back, whispering things i would find amusing and sinister. Probably shouldn’t show up to the bake sale sunday with all this shame.
How do you move on from something like this? Should I just set my board on fire and ride off into the sunset of infernal oblivion?
well… jake already puffed half of them. the other half is fuill of sag. Sag is literally dripping everywhere and i keep having to mop it up.
So i called Orange County Solid Waste and said “Hey, i have all this lithium i need to properly dispose of. I build electric boards and need to get rid of my old cells safely.” they said “Sure bring them by!” So i was like Oh that’s a relife because ihave about a dozen evolve packs and… " “OH hold the fuck up there captain jackass” they interrupted. “None of that Evolve bullshit in our landfill. You go bury that trash lithium somewhere else you filthy animal!” so now i have to hang on to them or crush them into pills for stabilizing my mood or something.
you take an evolve and you slap it on its ass
whip it up good like a bowl of sassafrass
pop a screw or two and drop in a 30Q…
and out comes a board that’s a rollin quite rude!
range that is. A helpin a watthours like you never seen
miles upon miles, lean and mean
slap yo momma and kiss a queen
Sing it boys!
Longhairedboy, he be da real McCoy,
You can burn him on the ‘book, but he won’t get shook,
And if y’all got issues, but no balls to resolve,
He’ll stay busy fixin’ the shit that Evolve can’t solve!
Whaaaattt!!!
If they really built the best skateboards, they’d pay you for your advice. And just because of that, I’m going to have my CarbonGT fixed by you this winter.
We all know what’s happening here. They’re scared of you